My Origin Story Truth

The Unapologetic Truth

 The Awakening Moment

 I’ve had many awakenings and initiations in this lifetime, but the one that forged the woman I am today arrived as a trinity of initiations between 2017 and 2019.

My life has always moved in threes: birth, decisions, initiations.

This sacred number has shaped me and guided my path from the very beginning.

My work is rooted in this ancient pattern because it lives inside me.

2017: First Initiation

I was pushed out of a group by people I trusted and loved. The rupture was traumatic, and it forced me inward, into solitude. I had to journey into my darkest caves, where my healing began. This was the first crack in the shell I thought was “me.”

2018: Second Initiation

Then perimenopause arrived. It was silent but fierce. I had no idea that the chaos I was feeling was hormonal.

My identities, my work, my life, my sense of self all began to dissolve. I was living in a wounded masculine energy, trying to push, to force things to happen. I drove myself into exhaustion. My body said “No” long before I did.

2019: Third Initiation

I was crossing the road at a busy traffic light when a bike hit me:

Surgeries.

Hospital.

Stillness.

Everything stopped.

My life cracked open.

So much Love & Gratitude poured through.

All three events stripped me down to nothing.

They showed me I had been running on fumes. I was pretending to be fine and strong.

I was taught that I had to keep going and push through, that rest is for the lazy.

When the bike hit me, I was forced to surrender.

I finally understood that as a woman, I am cyclical, intuitive, a spiralling being.

I needed to find a completely different way to live, heal, and awaken…A feminine way, the Goddess way

Since then, everything has changed. I still have masculine moments, I still rely on my masculine energy for many things, but now I question every narrative society fed me about healing and awakening.

I realised the tools built by masculine energy simply don’t work for a woman in her initiation.

And I stopped apologising for needing something different and deeper.

I now channel what I needed all along. I channel, and embody new ways to reconnect to my body, the earth, my womb and my heart, and the Divine Feminine.

The Mirror of Perimenopause

Perimenopause has become one of my greatest teachers.

It showed me that the good girl gets nowhere.

It taught me that the Dark Goddess, in the forms of rage, truth, boundaries, and depth, is essential for healing.

Perimenopause taught me that healing isn’t about being nice.

It’s about facing the layers, the shadows, the triggers.

It’s about holding myself accountable while also holding others accountable for the harm they caused.

Perimenopause stripped me of illusions and guided me back to my power.

The Fire & the Alchemy

I heal by feeling.

I don’t run from discomfort.

I walk through the alchemical fire I create. I am an Alchemist.

Step by step, slowly or quickly, I let it burn away what no longer belongs.

My process is fierce and it is feminine:

• I surrender the illusion of control.

• I remember duality is a construct.

• I ask Goddess the questions I’m afraid to ask and I honour the answers, even when they hurt.

• I work with anger instead of fearing it.

• I offer myself compassion when the fire feels too hot.

• I invite love into every crack and crevice.

• I speak to my inner child gently, with devotion.

• I return to nature to let Her hold me.

And at the end of one journey, I have more clarity.

I can do this because it’s in my blood, my bones, my being. No one else can. This is power, not arrogance. It’s knowing myself, my power, and my purpose, and it’s remembering who I am and what I’m capable of.

The Body’s Wisdom & Remembering the Goddess Within

After my accident, I had no choice but to let my body lead. She took over. She knew exactly what to do. Witnessing my own healing was profound and almost otherworldly.

Even today, I am still in awe of my body ancient intelligence, her instinct to repair, to rise, to survive.

Combined with my perimenopause initiation, this period cracked me open to a new truth:

My body is not an inconvenience. She is not something to fix. She is Goddess incarnate.

Raw. Real. Relentless. A force of creation and destruction. A compass. A map. A portal.

When I finally stopped fighting my body’s voice, she revealed everything:

• where I needed to focus my healing

• when to slow down

• when to stop

• when to move

• when to burn

• when to bloom

• when to ground

• when to surrender

• when to take that leap

• when to simply be

  
  

She grounds me in the present moment:

• through the sensation moving under my skin

• through the wisdom of my bones

• through the compass of my own breath

• through the beating of my heart

• through the spirals of my womb

  
  

She showed me that awakening isn’t a concept. It must be Lived through the body, Fully, Fiercely and Unapologetically.

The Mind’s Rebellion & Embracing Imbalance as Transformation

There came a moment when I stopped chasing “balance.”

Balance is a myth, a patriarchal construct.

Women are not meant to be linear.

• We are spirals

• We are tides

• We are storms and stillness

In balance, nothing moves, nothing transforms, nothing grows.

Once I understood the true nature of the Divine Feminine, everything shifted.

Goddess energy is messy. She moves inward, downward, sideways and in ways that cannot be described.

She spirals you through your underworld so you can reclaim your power.

Healing is not always tidy. It is not a plinth and a soft blanket.

Healing is descent. Work. Earth. Sweat. Truth. Love. Surrender. Grace. Unknown.

I realised I had to get my hands dirty so that I could meet myself in the chaos. I had to let the earth hold me, and trust the wisdom hidden inside every initiation. And that my body is the vessel where real transformation begins.

The Emotional Revelation & My Truth Rising

 Perimenopause has brought up every emotion I avoided for decades. And I let all of them speak:

Anger becomes my sacred fire.

For years, I stayed quiet, afraid to be seen or judged.

I silenced my voice to keep the peace.

Now, without the hormonal veil, my anger rises to liberate me, not punish me.

Grief showed me how to let go of every version of me that cannot walk into this next chapter.

The grief of what I couldn’t do in the past.

The grief of who I tried to be.

Regret showed up for all the dreams I didn’t chase because I believed I wasn’t good enough.

My regrets showed me where my power was stolen and where I am now reclaiming it.

Guilt almost destroyed me. The ghost of choices I wish I had made differently was chipping away at my energy and the trust in myself, until I realised that guilt is not a home, it is a doorway.

But I meet them with compassion, and not punishment.

Every emotion has been a teacher. Every feeling is a guide. This is the emotional alchemy of the feminine. This is perimenopause stripped of shame.

The Sovereign Woman

A Sovereign Woman in perimenopause is the woman who has walked through fire and now knows exactly who she is.

She is steady in her power. Not loud. Not performative. A quiet, unshakeable certainty in her body and her choices.

She is emotionally free. Her emotions still come, but she’s no longer afraid of them.

• Anger becomes clarity

• Grief becomes release

• Fear becomes intuition

• Vulnerability becomes strength

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She doesn’t suppress. She transforms and embodies. She is the Alchemist!

• She knows how to connect to her body as an oracle. She trusts her cues:

what to eat (even guiding your shopping list at your local store), when to rest, how to move, and what to decline. Her body becomes a living compass, not a battlefield.

• She embraces boundaries with devotion

• She doesn’t negotiate her needs. She doesn’t apologise for her “no.” She no longer abandons herself to keep the peace.

• She is calm within the storm

Not because life is easy but because she no longer expects herself to be linear. She embraces the spiral. She works with her cycles, not against them. This is the emotional freedom of sovereignty.

• She is a woman who has remembered her worth and carries herself differently.

Her posture changes. Her presence expands.

• She walks into rooms as if she belongs, because she finally knows she does.

• She is deeply grounded, deeply feminine

• She doesn’t rush. She doesn’t chase. She doesn’t overgive. She chooses with intention.

• She is unfiltered and real, not polished. Not performing perfectly. Just… her. Raw, radiant, honest.

• She is a woman who trusts herself

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There is a softness in her face, a depth in her eyes, a clarity in her voice, a steadiness in her presence, and a quiet power that draws people in.

She looks like someone who has shed an old skin

Her identity no longer comes from roles, approval, outdated teachings or survival. She is herself, fully.

She is connected to her desires, her intuition, her pleasure, her boundaries, her path.

She is not trying to “stay young.” She is stepping into a power that youth could never give her.

A Sovereign Woman in Perimenopause is a woman who knows how to transform her chaos into wisdom, her emotions into power, her body into her greatest guide, she honours her boundaries without apology, and she steps into her truth with fearless clarity.

If you feel called and aligned with this post, like and comment with what lights up in you when you read it.

You can also drop me a message. I’d love to walk alongside you and hold space for you through this powerful journey.

Virtual Hugs

Michela xo