When Pain Becomes Your Excuse...

This message is meant to trigger you or maybe make you angry. But not in a malicious way, but from a place of Love.

You know that moment when your pain stops being something you're healing from

and starts becoming the reason you’re not moving forward?

Maybe it started as a protective mechanism, your way to survive, to make sense of what happened and to keep your heart safe.

But somewhere along the way, you started to build very thick walls. You found in that pain a reason not to open, to trust again or to surrender, and to try again.

And I get it! I know that moving on means risking more pain. It also means letting go of a story you've told yourself for years.

But here's the thing, love... You are not your pain, and you never were.

Yes, pain is also a teacher, it has a voice. It speaks in memories, in the sensations moving through your body, in the resistance you feel.

Pain asks to be heard. And it should be heard, because unprocessed pain can become a prison. But the truth is that pain is a part of a story, not the whole story.

There comes a point when pain no longer serves as a teacher, but it becomes a heavy anchor. It keeps us rooted in fear, in what was, in who we were.

We start to believe that healing means forgetting, or that moving forward somehow betrays the part of us that still hurts.

But healing is not betrayal. It’s liberation!

I see this often in the women I support, holding onto pain because it's become familiar, safe and predictable.

But what if the safety you think pain gives you is actually keeping you from becoming the woman you’re meant to be?

And it’s hard to admit that.

It’s hard to say, I’m using my pain as a reason to not move forward.

Because what if moving forward means losing a part of me?

What if healing means letting go of the story that gave me an identity?

What if I don’t know who I am without it?

Remember, you're the woman who felt it all. Who held it all. But now you have a choice.

Do you want to stay stuck in the story or start writing a new chapter?

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You don’t need to feel ready.

You don’t need to be fully healed.

Stop for a moment, observe your body, your mind, your emotions and come back to your breath.

There, in the pause between your inhale and exhale, find that moment of truth, that tiny bit of willingness.

Feel it! Embrace it!

And when you tell yourself again “I can’t move because it still hurts…” Ask gently with your hand on your heart:

Is it the pain that’s holding me back? Or is it fear?

Either way, you don’t have to stay there.

When you're ready, I'm here.

To walk beside you.

To hold space.

To remind you, one step at a time, one breath at a time, one heartbeat at a time,

You are so much more than what hurt you.

You don’t have to do it all at once.

But you do get to choose movement, even if it’s slow.

Love

Michela xo

© 2025 Michela Sborchia All Rights Reserved